The Power of Resiliency

Tara Aquila — Tue, 30 Aug 2022 14:37:44 +0000

The Power of Resiliency Tara Aquila Tue, 08/30/2022 - 10:37

“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”

–Maya Angelou

I love this quote by Maya Angelo. It sheds awareness to the fact that while everyone faces challenges, experiences trauma, and goes through difficult situations it does not need to define who you are.

When I think of the people receiving services at Center For Family Services, the one skill that I hope they strengthen is their resilience. I want the children and adolescents, as well as the adults, we work with to be resilient. I want them to be able to cope with all that life might bring. I want them to thrive! I also want my co-workers to be resilient and to thrive!

But what exactly is resilience?

Resilience has been described as being able to manage life’s ups and downs, to go with the flow, find strength, rise above, endure, or persist when times get tough. The American Psychological Association (APA) defines resiliency as:

“the process and outcome of successfully adapting to difficult or challenging life experiences…”

Which just begs the question, why do some people bounce back quicker than others when faced with adversity? Why do some feel hopeless and helpless and delve into deep depression and anxiety or use substances to cope? Why do others manage adversity with a hopeful outlook, and optimism? Is there a magic formula? Can resilience be learned or cultivated, or are some of us just born resilient while others struggle?

For answers, I turned to the Positive Psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania where Dr. Martin Seligman and his colleagues research, train, and educate others on how to improve their well-being and optimism. The Resilience Program identified the following competencies as essential for resilience: Self-Awareness, Self-Regulation, Mental Agility, Strength of Character, Connection, and Optimism.

It turns out that we can develop these skills as our brains keep learning from experience. We can cultivate resilience! How does this translate into our day to day life? Here are some suggestions:

Practice mindfulness - Learn to focus on the present moment rather than on what happened in the past or what might happen in the future.
Manage stress - Develop coping skills, such as engaging in exercise, going for a hike in nature, setting boundaries, listening to music, or dancing it out.
Identify and focus on your strengths - Practice positive affirmations.
Develop a network of supportive relationships.
Learn something new – Challenge yourself.
Write a gratitude list – Take the time to focus on the positive.
Take a self-compassion break: https://self-compassion.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/Tender-SelfCompassion-Break-2.mp3

Should you need assistance with developing some of these skills, reach out for professional help. Center For Family Services is here to help and offers a strong and innovative continuum of care to help each person reach their full potential.

If you are experiencing challenges in your everyday life, help is available through our private and confidential counseling services as well as our other areas of service that promote emotional and social well-being. For more information on resources from Center For Family Services call, 877-922-2377.

Additionally, do not hesitate to reach out to your local crisis screening center or the National Suicide and Crisis Line by calling 988 or 1-800-273-8255.

Blog tags

Resiliency

Finding Strength

Self-awareness

Self-Regulation

Mental Agility

Strength of Character

Connection

Optimism

Donna Wess, LPC, LCADC

Senior Program Director - Outpatient Zero Suicide Committee

Love and Loss

Tara Aquila — Wed, 09 Feb 2022 16:12:41 +0000

Love and Loss Tara Aquila Wed, 02/09/2022 - 11:12

Walking into stores during the month of February, we are bombarded with images of flowers, chocolate and hearts in celebration of Valentine’s Day. These images can often be grief triggers, symbolizing love that was lost, love that will never be felt again, relationships that have permanently been altered and can’t be experienced in person. It can stop us in our tracks. How do we move from being frozen and stuck? One way is to use that very same imagery to transform the experience. We can shift these images to take on additional or new meanings, helping us to integrate our grief experiences.

Flowers: Roses are often a symbol used to express love. Let’s shift that symbol for a moment, and look at the rose as a way to check-in with ourselves, identifying a thorn and a petal of our grief experience. The thorn will represent a challenge or a difficulty we have experienced while grieving. The petal will represent a strength, a gratitude or something new we have experienced while grieving. What is your thorn and your petal today? If it feels comfortable for you, share your thorn and petal with a trusted grief ally.

Chocolate: We can also shift our relationships to objects, songs, and experiences. How did your loved one express their love to you while they were alive? Is there something that represents that love? Perhaps you shared cupcakes with your brother on special occasions. Maybe for the month of February, you try out a new cupcake recipe or a new cupcake flavor at your favorite bakery. Perhaps your grandmother inspired your love of art and there is a drawing pencil or a piece of artwork that reminds you of her. Maybe for the month, you place that pencil or that artwork in a prominent place at home, or maybe you make that gallery painting your wallpaper on your phone. Perhaps your father sung you the same lullaby at night when you were a child. Maybe for the month, you challenge yourself to learn that song.

Hearts: Community is a protective factor when grieving. When we feel more connected and less alone, it creates space for integration. We welcome you to participate in a virtual community art project. We will be creating a collage of hearts with names of those who have died. Contact Amy Romaine, aurban@centerffs.org, for details on how to participate.

So next time you head into the supermarket, see a commercial or hear a radio ad that directs your mind and heart towards love that has been lost take these imagery transformative ideas into consideration. The shift in what these images can mean to you may help you navigate your grief experience in a new light and maybe even introduce a new tradition to honor one that has passed.

If you or someone you know is experiencing challenges in your everyday life, including grief, loss, or depression, we’re here to help. Private, confidential services specialized for adults, children, teens, and families are available. Call 877.922.2377 or email access@centerffs.org to schedule an appointment.

Blog tags

Amy Romaine, MA, ATR-BC, LPC, ACS, ATCS, BC-TMH

Clinical Supervisor, Grief and Traumatic Loss Services